Tuesday, October 22, 2019

Humble yourselves before the Lord.

Daily thoughts from my Scripture reading.

Jam 4:6 — 10
But He gives greater grace. Therefore He says:
God resists the proud,
but gives grace to the humble.,
Therefore, submit to God. But resist the Devil, and he will flee from you. Draw near to God, and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, sinners, and purify your hearts, double-minded people! Be miserable and mourn and weep. Your laughter must change to mourning and your joy to sorrow. Humble yourselves before the Lord, and He will exalt you.

This is so counter cultural. The world tells you that you need to build yourself up, and that if you listen to your heart whatever you want to do is fine. God says that we cannot build ourselves up and that we need to recognize our sin and humble ourselves before Him. Then our Identity can be remade by Him! Lord, I humble myself before you. You are the only one who is great, and I am nothing with you. Thank you for loving me and lifting me up, not for my own glory, but for yours! Please transform me so that my life reflects you more and more.

Monday, September 23, 2019

Good News: You Can Be Part of a Family


Years ago, when I worked as a nurse's aid, I remember a conversation with a young co-worker of mine about her upcoming marriage. She really loved her fiance, but she was worried about whether they could make the marriage work. She came from a broken home, and he came from a broken home. In fact, even their grandparents had been divorced, so neither of them had any examples of successful long-term marriages, so she was worried that they would not know how to keep things together if things got tough. 

So many of the people who come to me for help with life problems have also experienced broken families and the resulting pain and isolation that comes from that brokenness. Lots of people are so jaded by the hurt they experienced in their families or that they see in other families, that they have decided not to get married or not to have kids. Unfortunately, this generally does not make life better, because families are the best place to find companionship and support, and without them, many people get more and more isolated and lonely.

So here is some good news about families. Most people in America still get married; 69% of men and 76% of women. Most people only marry once and most of those marriages still last a lifetime. Marriage provides incredible benefits for all involved, such as higher incomes and wealth creation, longer life expectancies, and better outcomes for children. So if you are married or thinking about whether to have a family, I want to encourage you to have hope that it can work and that it will be a good thing for you.

On the other hand, many people, whether they were the partners in a relationship or children, have already experienced family breakdown and are living the fallout. Perhaps you are skeptical of family or people in general because you have been hurt too many times, but you still want people that love you unconditionally and welcome you just because you are one of the family.

Well, I have some more good news for you. Even if you have no family on earth left, God desires for you to come into His family, and He is a good Father. Through the work of His son, Jesus, He wants to make you His child and an heir along with Jesus to an eternal fortune (Romans 8:14-17). Right now you can know come to God as Father and be adopted into His family by accepting Jesus as your savior and Lord.

Beyond that, when other children of God gather it is called the church, and there you should be able to find people who love you like a sister or brother, because that is what you are. The family of God on earth is not perfect, but as we strive to get to know our Father better He commands us to love our brothers and sisters (1 John 4:21), so the closer we get to God, the better we will care for one another.  

If you are lonely, depressed, unsure of your identity, then please come to God and let Him call you, son or daughter. Then please find a church where they love each other like family, and where they welcome you with the Father's love.

Monday, September 16, 2019

Good News: You Can Be Forgiven

Image result for crosses on hill

Twenty-five years ago, the president of the African nation of Rwanda, an ethnic Hutu, was killed in a plane crash. The Hutus were the majority group in the county, but the country had historically been run by the minority ethnic group, the Tutsis. Many Hutus blamed the Tutsis for the plane crash and went on a killing spree against them. After two months, more than 800,000 Tutsis had been killed, primarily by machetes and clubs. Unfortunately, the rest of the world failed to take action to stop the genocide. Eventually, a rebel Tutsi group retook the government and stopped the genocide.

This was not the first time such ethnic cleansing has happened, and unfortunately, it is not likely to be the last. What is unique in this instance though is the good news that followed the bad news. Instead of simply retaliating against their neighbors when they had the opportunity, the Tutsi leaders chose a path of reconciliation. Those who committed the horrible murders were sent to jail, but they were also given the opportunity to repent and ask forgiveness for their crimes. Many of those who lost family members have forgiven the murders of their family.

For instance, Tasian Nkundiye murdered his neighbor with a machete, but after serving an 8-year prison sentence, he now lives in the same neighborhood as Laurencia Makalemera, the widow of a man he murdered. He says of her, “I am very grateful to her. Ever since I apologized to her after prison life, confessing to my crimes and asking her for forgiveness, she has accepted me. I even leave my children with her when I am away.” What could have turned into a generations long feud between two people has been changed to a story of redemption and renewal because of forgiveness.

The Rwandans, both those who perpetrated the murders and the victims, benefited from the idea that sin can be forgiven. Since they have undertaken reconciliation the country has become a safer place, which in turn has lead to economic growth.

The idea of reconciliation and forgiveness came from and has been lead by Christians. As my article last week pointed out, the Bible tells us that everyone is a sinner and deserves punishment, so we all need forgiveness. But God loves us so much that He sent His son to die and take the punishment for us (Romans 5:8). He offers us forgiveness for our sins and promises that if we ask for forgiveness, He will give it (1 John 1:9). In other religions, you have to do good deeds to overcome your bad deeds, but you can never be sure you have done enough. In a secular worldview, you cannot overcome your bad deeds because your actions are simply a result of forces outside of your control. Jesus offers us a unique way out of sin and guilt, because he died in our place so that we can be forgiven and our relationship with God can be restored.

Furthermore, once you receive forgiveness, you can offer forgiveness to others because you have experienced the freedom that God's mercy provides (Ephesians 4:32). Forgiveness from God, from others, and towards others when they have wounded you, provides a path out of the trap into which sin leads us. Our relationship with God can be restored, and He then helps to restore our relationships with other people.

Therefore, if you are struggling with sin in your life right now or have long-term guilt over past sin, God has the best news for you. He wants to forgive you. He wants to restore you. You do not have to earn it, and in fact, you cannot ever do enough to earn it. Forgiveness is a gift from God, but you need to receive it. I encourage you to read and pray Psalm 51, and see that God desires to cleanse you and give you joy.

Monday, September 9, 2019

Good News: You are a Sinner

 Image result for repentance

Many young people have a fear that the future will be worse than the present, and many people are convinced things have gotten worse compared to the past. For instance, many of us live in fear of violent attack, and think that chance of getting attacked is higher now than in the past. A funny instance of this that I saw recently was a family that was building an off-grid home high up in the mountains of Idaho on a road so bad that for much of the year it is nearly impassable. The dad was still so worried about possible intruders that he was putting up multiple security cameras on his property and wanted to make sure that his guns were always ready to be used against possible human threats if necessary.

So is it true that life in the United States is actually more dangerous now than in the past, or have we perhaps been fooled into more fear by the 24-hour news cycle and the immediacy of internet news where we hear negative news all the time. Well, the Pew Research Center shows an interesting contrast between reality and perception. In the 25 year period from 1993-2017, both violent crime and property crime fell sharply, 49% and 50% respectively, in the United States. On the other hand, they report that in 18 of 22 Gallup polls during that same time period show that 6 in 10 people thought that crime had gone up from the previous year, even when it had actually dropped. There may be lots of reasons why crime has been dropping, and there is no guarantee that it will continue to drop, but some more good news is that some programs to help criminals stop from reoffending are fairly successful. For instance, several studies in the US and other countries have shown that if a prisoner participates in a faith-based program like ones run by Prison Fellowship, their likelihood of reoffending drop by at least 50%. One of the reasons that these programs work is that they teach the prisoner that change is possible, but one of the first steps in that process is recognizing their need to change.

The Christian faith provides the same good news that we all need to hear, namely that you are a sinner that needs to change and that you can change. Now I suspect that reading Romans 3:10, "There is none righteous, no not one," or Romans 3:23, "For all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God," does not initially seem like good news to anyone, but in fact compared to the modern naturalistic view of man, it is good news. You see in the modern view of man, your problems are not primarily your fault. Your problems are the fault of where you were born, how you were raised, the color of your skin, the wiring of your brain, or any number of other factors outside of yourself. If you believe that, then you also have no real control of your own life, because you are simply a machine that is being driven by forces outside your control. The Christian claim on the other hand, while not denying outside influences, makes it clear that each individual also has the ability to make choices about what they do and how they think.

Therefore, by acknowledging that we are sinners, we are acknowledging that at least part and maybe most of our problems come from within ourselves. Understanding and admitting where the problem really lies is the first part of dealing with any problem. That is why both in the Prison Fellowship programs and substance abuse recovery programs, admitting that you have a problem is one the first steps to making positive change. Christianity does not claim that we can fix the sin problem on our own, but the Apostle Paul in laying out the whole good news in Romans does start by making it clear in chapters 1-3 that every one of us is a sinner that needs change. In future articles, I will explain even more of the good news, but if you want a sneak peek, I recommend reading chapters 4-8 of Romans for the best possible news in the universe! The good news is that you are a sinner, but that you do not have to stay trapped in sin.

Thursday, September 5, 2019

Good News - You have a Creator




Recently, I have been seeing stories about teens and young adults who are so scared about the future that they do not even want to have kids, because they do not believe in a good future. We have the news at our fingertips all day long, and most of the news that is reported is bad, so many people live in fear. They are anxious about a climate disaster, mass shootings, the opioid epidemic, terrorist attacks, mass immigration, wars, an economic collapse, and political conflict. In the next month I want to present some good news about our world, but even better news about our God and what He has done, is doing, and will do.
Here is some good news about the world. Many people in the western world think that the economy is getting worse, but worldwide over the last 25 years, many, many people have come out of extreme poverty. Alexander Hammond writing at Humanprogress.org says, "In 1820, 94 percent of the world’s population lived in extreme poverty (less than $1.90 per day adjusted for purchasing power). In 1990 this figure was 34.8 percent, and in 2015, just 9.6 percent." Even in terms of raw numbers of people in extreme poverty he says, "Not only is the proportion of people in poverty at a record low, but, in spite of adding 2 billion to the planet’s population, the overall number of people living in extreme poverty has fallen too." I remember growing up and regularly hearing about mass starvation in many countries, and while this is still possible, over the couple of decades these types of events are becoming less and less common.

As a student of history, I know that we cannot count of things always getting better in this world, but as a Christian I know the good news that "The earth and everything in it, the world and its inhabitants, belong to the Lord; for He laid its foundation on the seas and established it on the rivers" from Psalm 24:1-2. God did not just make the world, but He also made me as Psalms 139:14 says, "I will praise You because I have been remarkably and wonderfully made." Furthermore, God did not just leave the world to drift, but is still involved in  the world, as the Apostle Paul says in 1 Corinthians 8:6, "yet for us there is one God, the Father, from whom are all things and for whom we exist, and one Lord, Jesus Christ, through whom are all things and through whom we exist."

Finally, though the world is broken by sin, our ultimate hope is not in systems of this world, but rather that God will redeem and remake the world. As the promise in Rev 21:1, 3, 4 says "Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and the sea no longer existed. . . God’s dwelling is with humanity, and He will live with them. They will be His people, and God Himself will be with them and be their God. He will wipe away every tear from their eyes. Death will no longer exist; grief, crying, and pain will exist no longer, because the previous things have passed away."

The good news for today is that the one true God is creator, sustainer, and redeemer of the world. That same God also created you, loves you personally, and wants to redeem you to be with Him for eternity. If you need hope for today, turn off the news and turn to your creator.

Sunday, August 4, 2019

Family




This July, Sechler family had a great time on vacation to Glacier Park in Montana, and Banff Park in Alberta, Canada. When people have asked me what the best part of the vacation was, I reflected that of all the beautiful places we saw, the best part was still spending time with my family. Hiking a trail, Spending time around a fire, skipping rocks over a rushing river, canoeing on a mountain lake, playing a board game on a picnic table, and even listening to an audiobook while covering the many miles were all made better because we did them together. I love my family and I love spending time with them.

While gone though, I also missed my church family. Throughout the New Testament, family terms like brother, sister, and son are used of the church, and they are not used casually. In fact, we should see the church as an eternal family where we are all part of God's family. We should love, protect, forgive, fellowship, enjoy, and care for one another not just like some dysfunctional family, but rather as the best kind of family and an example for the world.

As Jesus tells us in John 13:34-35, "A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” 1 John 4:20-21 tells us,  "If anyone says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen.  And this commandment we have from him: whoever loves God must also love his brother."

So our relationship with God should inspire us to love each other well, and if we are not loving each other well, then we are not loving God well. As the elders have considered how we as a church are called to make disciples in our area, we have discussed that loneliness and disconnectedness is one of the big areas of need in our area. If we can be a loving and welcoming family, we will help one another grow well, but we will also provide a welcoming family to many people who perhaps do not have that anywhere else in their lives.

My prayer is that you will feel loved in this church and that it will excite you to spend time with your eternal family, and that many other people will be welcomed into God's family through our church. I love you and it is a privilege to be part of this family.

Tuesday, May 28, 2019

Should Abortion Be Allowed for Rape?

Here is an exchange the recently took place on Facebook about the issue of abortion:

One person wrote: My mom had me at age 19. I was conceived before my parents were married...and I’m so thankful my mom chose to give me life! This why I’m pro-life...I wouldn’t be here without my Mom determination to keep me. It was hard for my parents going through college with a baby, and living paycheck to paycheck. I will be a VOICE for the unborn for the rest of my life. ✝️💓

Anotgher Person Responsed: At the age of 19, she was an adult, and could make that decision because your father also chose to stay and help her.

What about that poor 11 year old girl whom was raped? Delivering a child in a CHILD'S body could kill her. Should she be forced to carry said fetus.


So what about this argument? Should abortion be allowed because of the horrors of rape and the dangers of pregnancy to a young body?

First, we need to make the basic case for why abortion is immoral and should be illegal in normal circumstances. 

Here is the case as laid out by Scott Klussendorf of the Life Training Institute.

  • Premise #1: It is wrong to intentionally kill innocent human beings.
  • Premise #2: Abortion intentionally kills innocent human beings.
  • Therefore, conclusion: Abortion is morally wrong.
The key point in this argument is the value of the unborn child. If the unborn child is a unique human life, then he or she should be afforded the same right to live as all other humans. If the unborn is not a human life, then what is it? What exactly confers humanity on a child? When do we / should we get human rights and when can they be taken away?

The science is clear that a new human life starts at conception and that any other point along the way is simply arbitrary decision making. If human rights are only conferred on us when someone wants us or we provide some value to society, then they can be taken away arbitrarily too. Protecting the lives of the innocent and defenseless whether they are in the womb or out of the womb is really an act of protecting the right to life for everyone.
Therefore, when talking about the issue of conceptions by rape, we are still talking about the lives of two people, the woman and the child. If the child is a human then the fact of how it was conceived does not take away its humanity before or after it is born. If it is not human before birth because of the crime done in the act of conception then are those people that are now born but who were conceived by rape not human? Of course, they are human and should have all the rights given to other humans, and so should those babies not yet born no matter how they were conceived.

I know that the primary argument though is the physical and mental health of the woman, especially in this argument about a young girl. Now in the case of physical danger to a woman, whether younger or older, then most pro-life people make the case that sometimes an unborn baby has to be killed in order to save the life of the mother. The option here though is not between 2 people living and 1 person living. Rather, in the case of severe physical danger to the mother, you would have two people dying or you can have one live. In cases of severe hypertension, cancer in the mother, or in particular ectopic pregnancies these hard decisions of life or death sometimes become medically necessary to save the one life that can be saved.

On the issue of mental health, it is not at all clear that the mental health of woman is helped by abortion in the cases of rape. Sometimes, the grief and pain of an assault can be compounded with guilt about the abortion. Furthermore, in the cases of young victims, abortion can be and is used by abusers to cover up the abuse, and makes it possible for the abuse to continue without being found out. Abortions providers sometimes will not even report the possible abuse when an adult brings in a young minor for an abortion. Here are some examples of that.

So to sum up my points: 
  • Being conceived by rape does not take away someone's humanity.
  • Medical necessity to end a pregnancy is the exception written into all pro-life legislation and is a clear moral exception.
  • It is not at all clear that abortion would help the emotional and mental state of a raped woman, and in some cases may even be used by abusers to cover up their crimes so they can continue their abuse.
Finally, this is not just an academic exercise for me. I have two daughters, one of whom is 11. I get the emotion behind thinking about your kids hurting and wanting to help them, but I am convinced that abortions would hurt them more than help them.

Furthermore, I have even had to counsel a young woman with an ectopic pregnancy and help her understand why there was no possibility of having her baby live. She was devastated because even at that early stage her unborn baby was her child. Every mother I know who has lost a baby due to miscarriage has grieved over the loss of their child.

If you know of someone with an unplanned pregnancy of any type, I would and many pro-life people would love to help them. We would help them with prenatal care, care after their child is born, and even find someone to adopt their baby if that is what they want.

If you have had an abortion and have guilt, remember that God will forgive you. There is no sin that He cannot forgive. We (pro-life people) do not hate you, and neither does God. We desire for you to find peace with Him.

        Wednesday, May 8, 2019

        Who needs to get the log out?

        Image result for log in your eye


        Traci and I were once on a long trip between relatives on Easter Sunday, when our kids were little. We stopped at a nearly empty restaurant (Taco Johns I think) for a meal and let our kids run get a little exercise by running around a little bit after having been cooped for the last several hours. The only other family had been sitting on the other side of the restaurant and left a few minutes later. As the woman of the family left the restaurant, she shouted back at us that we had the worst behaved kids she had ever seen, and then she quickly exited. 

        Now, how effective do you think that was at getting Traci and I to change our parenting style? Did she have our best or our kids best in mind as she did that? Do you think we felt lovingly corrected? If you were challenged on some "sin" of yours by a stranger, how would that make you feel? Would you listen or put much stock in what they said? Would you perhaps react defensively and begin to argue about your own righteousness or try to figure out a sin of theirs?

        Recently, I heard two people in a conflict like this. One person felt it was their responsibility to point out something wrong in the other person, but similar to our case above the manner in which it was delivered did not feel loving. Shockingly, the one being corrected did not take it well and got upset in response! As I reflected on it, I realized that I have been the person on both sides of this type of unloving correction.

        Now as a Christian it is not wrong to go to a brother or sister in the Lord and point out some flaw, and we are commanded in Matthew 18:15-18 that if someone has sinned against us we must go to them to point their sin. James 5:19-20 tells us that by correcting someone who is in error, we can be part of saving their soul from death. Furthermore, anytime we share the full gospel, it becomes necessary to tell people that God says that are sinners. 

        Therefore, we know that correcting someone is not in and of itself wrong, but how and why we do it make a huge difference in how the corrections will be received.  Matthew 7:1-5 challenges us to examine our motives if we desire to help someone else through critique. Here Jesus points out that we cannot help someone else with some minor character flaw (a speck in their eye) if we ourselves have major character flaws (a log in our eye.) 

        If I see something wrong in the world or in another person that I think needs to be corrected, the first step for me should be to begin examining myself. If I have major issues in my life, then the other person and everyone else will clearly see my hypocrisy for telling someone else to correct their lives while I am not even willing to examine myself let alone change. It will be clear that my motive for challenging you is not to help you, but rather to tear you down, probably to make myself feel better in comparison. 

        If you are the type of person who sees injustice in the world and sin in other people that needs to be corrected, God may have given that to you as a way to help others. On the other hand, He may have also given that impulse to you as a challenge for you to humble yourself and repent, so that you will be able to go to others in love. Jesus at times was very harsh in His criticisms, but he also wept in love over the sin of his people. He also welcomed anyone into his company who came humbly themselves from the prostitute to the Pharisee.

        Jesus came to change the world, and he uses us as agents of change. Let him change you first so that when you go to into the world your encouragement and challenges will be seen as acts of love, not hypocrisy.

        Saturday, April 27, 2019

        Real love is messy.

        So as a Christian and as a Pastor, I often come into contact with people at very hard times of their lives or when they are messed up in some way or another. Here are just a few of the problems of people with who I have dealt in the last few years:


        • Abuse (both those who are doing the abuse and the abused children themselves). Physical and emotional.
        • Affairs
        • Neglected children (both those who are doing the neglect and the neglected children themselves)
        • Divorce
        • Property crime
        • Chronic lying
        • Many and varied psychological diagnoses from depression to bi-polar to schizophrenia.
        • Addiction to substances of all types and sexual additions of various kinds.
        • Eating disorders and cutting
        • Homelessness
        • Hunger
        • Suicide
        • Homicide
        Beyond these "big" visible types of problems, almost everyone who comes to church is broken in some way or another, including me. Many people have learned to hide their brokenness, but as God deals with them it often comes out.

        Furthermore, some of us in church are just plain weird. We might be extreme extroverts (like me) or we might be introverts. Some are on the autism scale, some have Down's syndrome, some like rock music, some like organ music, and some people like the Green Bay Packers.

        My point is that if we are going to do ministry like Jesus and do the ministry of Jesus and become more like Him, then we are going to have to learn to love people broken, weird, messed up people. Furthermore, the more you minister to these oddballs, the more you realize that you are one of them! You see Jesus died not come to minister to the health, but the sick. He did not come to die for the good people, but the damned people. He did not come to have a party with those who were already his friends, rather he came to be killed by his enemies, so he could make his enemies his friends. 

        Yes, he came to transform us, so that we can live more like him, in the way he created us, but we are all still in the process. If we are to see his kingdom grow we are going to still be reaching out and loving all kinds of different people.

        This is hard!! I mean it is very hard! It is really messy.

        Just today I saw a story of a man who intentionally ran a car into a group of people and got out and said "Thank you Jesus." Now this is not what Jesus wants any of us to do. We are not called to kill people in his name. We need to love and sacrifice for people, and be willing to die for them instead of kill them. On the other hand, it would not surprise me at all if this man actually had attended a church recently. Sometimes screwed up people are trying to get in touch with God, but they are still screwed up. Sometimes screwed up people lead churches and give people really bad and unChristian doctrine while in a church service. Both of these things were happening in the churches to whom Paul wrote, so why should it be different now.

        Does this mean we should stop reaching out so that things are less messy? No, it means we need to get on our knees every day and pray for strength. Pray for transformation, so that Jesus will help clean up our mess. Pray that we will be able to love the unlovable with his unconditional love.

        The gospel of Jesus Christ changes messy lives into abundant lives, but truly abundant lives overflow with the good news of the gospel into the lives of those around them. If you know Jesus, and if he is changing you, then you can and will love all the other messy people around you.

        Wednesday, April 3, 2019

        Learning from the Flood



        Luke 12:31 - 32
        But seek His kingdom, and these things will be provided for you. Don’t be afraid, little flock, because your Father delights to give you the kingdom.
        Recently with all the flooding you may have seen many pictures and videos of all the destruction. Scenes of destroyed houses, roads and bridges washed away, dead livestock, burst grain bins, and fields full of debris are sad and can even lead to a sense of despair or hopelessness because the loss seems so overwhelming.
        Rather than despair though, I want to encourage us to to use these hard moments to see what lessons God has for us.
        The first lesson as you think about your personal losses or those of people who you know, is to take a moment and examine your own heart. While it is appropriate to feel sad over losing valuable things, if that sadness turns to despair and depression, it may well point to what you really consider valuable. Do you put your hope and trust in God or do you put your hope and trust in the things of this earth? If you lost everything, could you still have peace? What if Jesus asked you to give up everything? Could you do it? He did ask his disciples to do that, and if he is asking you to, could you ?  This may not mean you lose the use of things, but it might. Could you give away your house, your cars, your job, your electronics, your reputation, your everything if Jesus called you to do it? I have a friend going back to Cameroon, Africa and these are the very questions he is asking, because God has called him to a much more dangerous and much less prosperous place. Use this moment to consider if Jesus is really the most valuable thing in your heart.
        Second, use this moment to look around you and be thankful for the blessings God has given you right now. One of the reasons that we sometimes get mad at God when He takes something away from us is that we have come to expect it rather than see the world and our very lives as a blessing from Him. Look at your family, your friends, your home, your food, the beauty of the earth, and rejoice in the abundance of God's goodness. Use this moment to thank God for the incredible blessings, both big and small. Start a list and write down one thankful item a day. Every single day you could find something for which to be thankful. If you do this, you will begin to praise the giver of the gifts and not just the gifts themselves.  God loves you and has already blessed you. Learn to praise Him on the sunny days and on the rainy days, in the days of drought, in the days of plenty, and in the days of flood. He is bigger than them all and any day with Him is better than any day with any other thing.
        Psalm 84:10 Better is one day in your courts than a thousand elsewhere.

        Friday, February 22, 2019

        Should you memorize scripture or treat others well?

        Here is a meme I saw on Facebook today with my response.

        Image may contain: meme and food, text that says 'JESUS DOESN'T CARE HOW MANY BIBLE VERSES YOU HAVE MEMORIZED. He CARES ABOUT HOW YOU TREAT PEOPLE.'
        Well, yes and no. Psalm 119:11 Thy word have I hid in my heart that I might not sin against God.

        God's word helps us to define what love is. If we know the Bible and do not live it we are hypocrites, but if say we love God and do not know what He has said, we are not really following or loving God. Rather we end up making God in our own image and then do whatever we want, which often leads to justifying selfish and unloving behavior.

        Matthew 22:37-40, He said the him, "You shall love the Lord your God will all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all you mind. This is great and first commandment. A second is like it. You shall love your neighbor as yourself. On these two commandments depend all the law and the prophets." 

        The great Shema of Deuteronomy 6:4-9 says,

        Hear O Israel, The Lord our God, the Lord is one. You shall love the Lord your God with all of your heart, and with all of your soul, and with all of your might. And these word that I am commanding you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach diligently to your children, and you shall talk of them when you sit down, and as you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. They shall be a sign on your hands, and as a frontlet between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.

        2 Timothy 3:16-17 say, "16 All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, 17 so that the servant of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work."

        Scripture itself teaches us that our very ability to treat others well is impacted by whether we encounter God through His Word. Now if it is just dead words or a club to beat others with then we are just Pharisees, who don't get the heart of the law. But I learned about that from the stories of Jesus in the Bible who had the harshest words for the legalists. I also learned about the sacrificial love of God, and how he calls us to become like Jesus and then shows us a picture of what that life looks like in the life and death of Jesus.

        I learn about how God wants a relationship with me and that Jesus died to provide that way to have that relationship.

        I learn that I am a sinner and that I am selfish and need to change, but that I can only do that with God's help.

        So at the heart of what I am saying is, that it is not either learning scripture or treating people well, but rather a because you learned scripture and took it seriously, you know how to and are impowered to and want to treat others well.

        The God of the universe has spoken and wants you to hear. Why would you not take time to listen? How could you not be transformed if you heard Him?

        Thursday, January 3, 2019

        Why I am still Happily Married after 21 Years.



        Today is Traci and my 21st anniversary, and I can honestly say that we have a great marriage. I love her more now than at any point previously, and I anticipate loving her even more 21 years in the future if God allows us that much time together. Furthermore, I feel loved and respected by her. Simply put she is my best friend, and she loves me in spite of knowing me better than any other human on earth. 

        So did we just luck into a great marriage or do we have some secret that we can share? As someone who has the job of helping others with their marriages, I wanted to share three of the primary reasons we have a great marriage, and that you can do as well.

        Love Jesus First

        The first and most important reason that Traci and I have a great marriage is that we both put Jesus number one in our lives. Every morning I see her spending time in God's Word and prayer, and she regularly takes time out of the house to spend extended time with the Lord as well. I too spend time with Jesus daily, to seek His will for my life and marriage, and He gives me the strength to obey as well. Neither of us live perfect Christian lives, but because we know that Jesus still loves us, we also know that our identity is secure no matter how hard we fail or how bad the circumstances are in our lives.

        When we fail each other, which inevitably we do, we can still go to Jesus to find comfort and forgiveness. Since we are not one another's little gods, we do not have to fill the void of meaning that only the true God can fill. Then whether we face financial trouble, loss of a job, conflict with friends, or even the loss of our son Micah, we still have someone solid on whom to lean. We each lean hard on Jesus, and He helps us be strong for each other. I cannot tell you how many times I have noticed that Traci is strong because of her relationship with Jesus, just when I am weakest, and by His grace He give me strength to help her as well.

        Jesus also continues to challenge us to grow personally. I think I can say confidently that we both love Jesus more now than when we first got married, and because of that we are able to love each other and others people better. A relationship with Jesus makes us into better people!


        It takes work!

        The second reason that we have a great marriage is that we work on it. We started intentionally working our marriage even while dating. We studied a book on Finding the Love of Your Life, by Neal Clark Warren, the eventual founder of EHarmony. We also did premarital counseling before we got married to make sure that we began talking to one another about deep areas of relationship, such as how to handle money and how to raise kids.

        We have continued to work on our marriage. We know that to keep love alive and to deepen it, we need to continue to romance one another. We date regularly (at least once a month), and on our dates, we ask one another date night questions like these. Every year we go to at least one retreat together, and/ or spend a couple days away together. We talk everyday about our lives and our plans. We also pray together every day - in 21 years we have probably missed less than 10 days of praying together. 

        We also study material lots of material on marriage, and on being better husbands and wives. Books such as His Needs, Her Needs by Willard Harley, or his website, Marriagebuilders.com are great practical resources. Tim Keller's, Meaning of Marriage, Emerson Eggerich's, Love and Respect, or Francis Chan's, You and Me Forever: Marriage in Light of Eternity, are also good reads. Even though we never have gone personally, I would also recommend Family Life's, Weekend to Remember retreats, because many couples that I know have been blessed by them. Another great relationship resource that we have taught is Emotionally Healthy Spirituality, and this material has been very good for our marriage and my life.

        If you studied this material, started believing these truths, and put into practice the teachings, I can almost guarantee your marriage would get better, even if you already have a good marriage.


        Believe in Marriage

        The third main reason that Traci and I have a great marriage is that we started out and continue to believe in the goodness of marriage, and therefore we are committed to making it work. We believe that God made marriage for our good, the good of our kids, and even for the good of the world around us. On our wedding day, we committed to loving one another until death do us part, and we still try to live that out.

        Furthermore, we have the added benefit of seeing this truth lived out in front us many times over. My parents have been married over 50 years, and they are a great example of people who love Jesus and each other. Traci's parents have been married over 40 years, and continue to love one another and their family well.

        We have many other relatives family and friends who have been married 10, 20, 30, 40, and sometimes 50+ years. We also have many friends whose marriages have broken up, but because we can look to the success as our inspiration to continue on this journey together in the good times and the bad.

        If you don't have positive examples in your life of long-term happy marriages, I would invite you to keep looking. When you find those couples who have endured through time, you will see the best examples of romantic love that no Hollywood romance can equal.

        Whether you are married or not, I hope that our marriage can be an encouragement for you of what a great marriage can be. I am so blessed by God to experience one of His great blessings for me as I travel this life with Traci. I look forward to growing old with her, and I pray that with God's help we will love each other more and more each day.