Half Hearted, Half Blessed

This was originally written for the September Newsletter of the Evangelical Free Church of Oakland

A friend and pastoral mentor of mine told me, that when someone came in for counseling, he asked these three questions:

1. Do you have a problem? In other words, before you can be helped you have to acknowledge that there is something wrong.

2. Do you want my help? People sometimes know they have a problem, but do not really trust the person they are asking for help. This creates a barrier because they will not trust the person when they make a recommendation. 

3. Are you willing to do anything and everything you need to do to get help? I think most people probably really stumble on this question, and this is where I want to spend my time in this article. They want help because where they are is painful, but they also fear change, because they know it will be painful as well.

In Luke 9:57-62, Jesus deals with three objections from people who claim they want to follow him, but have just one thing that is holding them back. Jesus drives home the point that anything or any barrier that keeps you from following him right now, completely, means that you are not really ready to follow Him at all. He wants our complete loyalty. Many of us genuinely desire to follow Him with our whole hearts, but we do not understand what that will mean until we get challenged or we begin to suffer. The call to follow Jesus takes on a new dimension when He asks us to follow Him into unknown or painful territory.

Frequently, in my years of ministry, I have had people come and talk to me about serious problems in their lives. My goal is help them find joy and peace in the Lord. In that process then, I ask them if they are willing to follow Jesus and obey Him. Of course most of us readily say yes, and in that moment we mean it. On the other hand, when we start to get down to specific life changes, it gets much harder. Suddenly, when the idea of taking up our cross daily is not just a phrase about the necklace we wear, but about obedience that requires real change and real challenge, then it is much harder to say yes to Jesus.

For example, a husband will come and tell me he wants a better marriage, but his wife does not respect him, so he cannot treat her lovingly. In the course of the conversation it will become clear that his wife has become an idol to him, and he is looking to her opinion for his identity instead of who he is in Christ. The solution is the begin to trust that Jesus loves him and gives him purpose. From this solid foundation of identity in Christ, he can begin to love his wife unconditionally even if she does not respect him.

Now the rubber meets the road when he is challenged to act lovingly toward her even when she does not treat him well in return. He will often not be willing to change, because he is waiting for her to change, which shows that he has not trusted Jesus with his full identity yet. Often, when I talk to the wife, the same pattern will emerge. She is waiting for him to love her well before she can act lovingly and respectfully. Even though both are Christ followers, they do not yet understand how following Christ impacts how they should love their spouse unconditionally. The fruit of our trust in Jesus shows up in our relationship with other people.

I know this situation intimately because I have seen this pattern repeatedly in all kinds of situations where the question is not what does Jesus want me to do, but rather, am I willing to obey what I know Jesus wants me to do? Frankly, the place I see it the most is in myself!

When we fail to obey, we do not get the full blessing of God. We want to obey, and we often obey up to a point, but when real change is required or God challenges us to step out in faith in a new area, we back away from Him. When we back away from Jesus, then we also back away from the full abundant life that he promised in John 10:10. He wants us to have peace, joy, hope, and faith which lead to loving relationships. If we are unwilling to obey when it is hard, we will miss out on the changes in us that can bring us those blessings, and that allow us to experience the abundant life no matter what the circumstances.

My challenge for you today is to ask God where He is leading and commit to follow Him no matter what even it seems hard In that process you will learn that God is faithful and will give you the strength to obey Him. He promises to bless you, but you have to be willing to follow Him with your whole heart to experience all that He can give you.