How Kids Help Us Grow

Here is an article I wrote for the Oakland Independent in December 2016. 

Children are a gift from the Lord: they are a reward from him . . . Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them. Psalm 127:3 & 5

Much of our focus during the Christmas season is making it a special time for kids. From buying them just the right present to going to Christmas programs, we spend lots of time and money on our kids. At various times kids may seem like blessing or a burden, but recently I have seen how God has used my kids to help me grow. Here are some of those lessons:

From the first smile on a young babies face to a preschooler bunny hopping across the stage at the Christmas program, kids bring great joy to our lives. Experiencing life with them lets us return to the carefree times of having fun without the burdens of adult life. I love to get down on a kids level and have fun with them. It puts a smile on their face and on mine.

But kids are not all smiles, hugs and bunny hops. Often they are downright naughty, and God can use this to teach us patience and perseverance. I have become convinced that it takes about 100 times of repeating some correction for a child to finally learn a new behavior or boundary. If we give up on try 90, the child suffer and so will we. They will not learn to behave the way they should and everyone else will be impacted by their wrong behavior, so for their sake and ours we need to learn to persevere.

Furthermore, in training our kids, we have to constantly be learning. Each stage of child's life requires new ways to teach them and even to communicate with them. You cannot discipline a 16 year old who can now out wrestle you in the same way you did when he was 8. Likewise each child is different, so techniques that worked so well for one child completely fail for the next. If we don't grow in wisdom as parents, we will not be successful in helping our kids live wisely.

Further, if we don't grow in love for our kids, we will not go through the hardship of training them properly. Love is desiring the best for the other person, and kids by their very dependence force us to live for someone other than ourselves. If we resent this and don't grow in love, we become a bitter and angry, which turns our kids against us. On the other hand, if we can learn to love our kids unconditionally many of our imperfections in other areas will be forgiven, and when they mess up they will learn it is safe to confess and restore the relationship.

Finally, even with the best of efforts, we need to learn to trust our kids into God's hands. As much as we may plan, we cannot control the future, ours or theirs, so we should learn to turn them over to Him. He loves them more than we do, so it is safe to release them to Him. I have already released one son to God's hand for eternity, and I know that pretty soon my other four kids are going to grow up and leave home (or at least I hope so!).  We may as well surrender them daily to Him now so that when they leave us we have already learned to trust God with them.

Now some of you reading this may not have any kids of your own or your kids are grown and you need to relearn some of these truth, so I would invite you to invest your life in kids or even adults who need mentoring. Many kids need mentors in their lives, and when we invest our lives in others, God uses them to help us grow.

How do you know when God says no?

The questions

I recently had a conversation with a friend who asked me if God answered my prayers. I said, "Yes", and he asked how often to which I answered, "Always."

He then responded, "What did you mean?" I said that God answers my prayers in one of three ways; yes, no, and wait.

He then asked two questions that I could not answer in simple ways, so instead I am writing this post to go into more detail.

First he asked, "So how would this work for a farmer who prayed for the rain to stop so that he could harvest his crops?"

Next he asked, "How is the 'no' answer conveyed?"

 I do not claim to be an expert in prayer, even Christian prayer in which I as a Christian pastor have some experience and on which I have had numerous times of training. In regular personal practice, I feel very inadequate and not very deep, but because I have had some training, I will attempt an answer to what I will admit are sometimes hard questions about when God does not answer a prayer in the way I want or expect.

The first response

The first way a 'no' answer can be conveyed clearly is simply that the request is not granted or perhaps even the opposite occurs. If we ask God for something definite, whether it is healing, material help, like a new job for example, or perhaps for the rain to stop so that we can harvest, then a yes and no answer is something that we can track in a particular time period.

I recently prayed for a healing for Nabeel Qureshi, a famous Christian apologist, who at 34 years old had stage 4 stomach cancer. In the last month, he died from complications of that stomach cancer just a year after getting the diagnosis. That was a direct 'no' to lots of people praying for healing, who by that meant long-term healing.

When praying for rain to stop, a no answer would be continued rain for long periods of time that causes the farmer not to be able to get the crops out and to suffer losses that year. An answer that perhaps is not a direct no, but is a wait would be for the rain to continue for awhile and eventually stop enough that the farmer can get his crops out. This perhaps comes with some loss of time and money, but not a disaster.

A current situation like this for us is that we have been praying for God to intervene and bring someone to buy our house in Minnesota that has been on the market for over two years. The answer has clearly been no to this point, but it has not been a disaster for us because we have had several renters that have helped us pay the expenses on the house.

But why?

A natural follow up question though is why doesn't God answer my prayers the way I want. Most of the time in these situations, what I or others request from God is not wrong in itself, and it is something that we want or something that we see as the best thing. The Christian God as described in the Bible though is not just a Santa Claus figure who gives us what we want when we want it, rather He is a God over the whole universe with an understanding that is bigger than our particular plans. Sometimes, our prayers might in fact fall in line with His best plans for the universe, but sometimes He knows the big picture better than us.

For example, in the case of the farmer here in America not getting his harvest, we could easily think of poorer farmers in South America who pray the God would help raise the crop prices so that they can survive another year. So God would allow poor weather in one area to help lessen the supply of crops worldwide and raise the prices for those who got crops that year.

In the case of our house, Traci and I have had the opportunity to help out several people in need of a short-term rental.

In the case of the death of a loved one like Nabeel or like my son Micah, I am not sure that we can or ever will (at least in this life) fully understand why they did not get to live a longer life like we would have desired. But God clearly does allow and yes even cause people to die and suffer in this world.

The one clear answer that we have about all suffering is that this world in its current condition is not the final answer. God clearly points to a better, eternal condition and that this world is simply a place on the way. Therefore, God's purposes are not wrapped up by making everything neat and tidy here, but rather by pointing to greater things yet to come.

While we do not always understand the bigger picture, sometimes we do get a better understanding of why God did not give us what we wanted and this leads to another way in which we understand that God has said no to a request.


The second response


After praying, studying and asking for wisdom, we may come to the conclusion that what we prayed for is not what we want anymore. If we are regularly searching the Bible and listening to wise counsel, we may come to the conclusion that what we desired was not what we should have wanted. James 4:3 talks about this type of wrong prayer "You ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly, to spend it on your passions." If we ask for something with the wrong motive then God may not give it to us for our own benefit, and if we are continuing to grow we may come to realize that we did not get it because it was bad for us.

For example, we might desire a better job or a winning season, and come to understand that we wanted those things primarily for selfish reasons. This may lead us to change our lives in response to the prayer rather than continue to focus on the desired thing.

So I think we may say that God answered no to a prayer when the thing did not happen and we realize that we no longer want that thing, so we stop praying for it.


Conclusion


Sometimes a no from God is very clear, while other times it is not as clear. Perhaps God will give us that good thing in time (wait) or perhaps he will reveal that what we needed is something different. In all these cases though, the primary purpose in prayer is for us to communicate with God our desires and learn to trust him with the response. Knowing that the good God who made the world is in control helps us to have peace no matter what the circumstance.

Phi 4:12 — Phi 4:13
I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me.

Half Hearted, Half Blessed

This was originally written for the September Newsletter of the Evangelical Free Church of Oakland

A friend and pastoral mentor of mine told me, that when someone came in for counseling, he asked these three questions:

1. Do you have a problem? In other words, before you can be helped you have to acknowledge that there is something wrong.

2. Do you want my help? People sometimes know they have a problem, but do not really trust the person they are asking for help. This creates a barrier because they will not trust the person when they make a recommendation. 

3. Are you willing to do anything and everything you need to do to get help? I think most people probably really stumble on this question, and this is where I want to spend my time in this article. They want help because where they are is painful, but they also fear change, because they know it will be painful as well.

In Luke 9:57-62, Jesus deals with three objections from people who claim they want to follow him, but have just one thing that is holding them back. Jesus drives home the point that anything or any barrier that keeps you from following him right now, completely, means that you are not really ready to follow Him at all. He wants our complete loyalty. Many of us genuinely desire to follow Him with our whole hearts, but we do not understand what that will mean until we get challenged or we begin to suffer. The call to follow Jesus takes on a new dimension when He asks us to follow Him into unknown or painful territory.

Frequently, in my years of ministry, I have had people come and talk to me about serious problems in their lives. My goal is help them find joy and peace in the Lord. In that process then, I ask them if they are willing to follow Jesus and obey Him. Of course most of us readily say yes, and in that moment we mean it. On the other hand, when we start to get down to specific life changes, it gets much harder. Suddenly, when the idea of taking up our cross daily is not just a phrase about the necklace we wear, but about obedience that requires real change and real challenge, then it is much harder to say yes to Jesus.

For example, a husband will come and tell me he wants a better marriage, but his wife does not respect him, so he cannot treat her lovingly. In the course of the conversation it will become clear that his wife has become an idol to him, and he is looking to her opinion for his identity instead of who he is in Christ. The solution is the begin to trust that Jesus loves him and gives him purpose. From this solid foundation of identity in Christ, he can begin to love his wife unconditionally even if she does not respect him.

Now the rubber meets the road when he is challenged to act lovingly toward her even when she does not treat him well in return. He will often not be willing to change, because he is waiting for her to change, which shows that he has not trusted Jesus with his full identity yet. Often, when I talk to the wife, the same pattern will emerge. She is waiting for him to love her well before she can act lovingly and respectfully. Even though both are Christ followers, they do not yet understand how following Christ impacts how they should love their spouse unconditionally. The fruit of our trust in Jesus shows up in our relationship with other people.

I know this situation intimately because I have seen this pattern repeatedly in all kinds of situations where the question is not what does Jesus want me to do, but rather, am I willing to obey what I know Jesus wants me to do? Frankly, the place I see it the most is in myself!

When we fail to obey, we do not get the full blessing of God. We want to obey, and we often obey up to a point, but when real change is required or God challenges us to step out in faith in a new area, we back away from Him. When we back away from Jesus, then we also back away from the full abundant life that he promised in John 10:10. He wants us to have peace, joy, hope, and faith which lead to loving relationships. If we are unwilling to obey when it is hard, we will miss out on the changes in us that can bring us those blessings, and that allow us to experience the abundant life no matter what the circumstances.

My challenge for you today is to ask God where He is leading and commit to follow Him no matter what even it seems hard In that process you will learn that God is faithful and will give you the strength to obey Him. He promises to bless you, but you have to be willing to follow Him with your whole heart to experience all that He can give you.

One Way

This article was originally written for the Oakland Independent July 12, 2017.

I like to explore and one of the ways that I do that is by finding different ways to drive from here to there. I often drive back roads when coming home from some meeting in Wayne, Norfolk, Omaha, or Fremont. Eventually with the help of Google maps and my compass, I do make it home, but it often involves lots of twists and turn and sometimes even backtracking. One thing is clear though, I have to keep on roads that lead in the direction Oakland. If I am leaving Norfolk, I cannot start heading west and keep heading west and ever expect to get home. When looking at a map there may be several ways to get from here to there, but anyone who has ridden with a directionally challenged driver knows you cannot just go where ever you want and expect to get to your destination.

Jesus makes the extraordinary claim about spiritual direction, that he is "the way, the truth, and the life, and that no one comes to the Father except through him" (John 14:6). He is claiming that there is only one way to get to God and that is through himself. This exclusive claim sounds harsh in the light of our modern and tolerant society, but I am convinced that Jesus is who he claimed to be and that his work provides the only way to get to God. Like the belief in a Trinitarian God who created everything else, the belief in the uniqueness of Jesus set Christians apart from those who don't believe in him.

Now when I say that Christians believe these things, I don't mean that we simply have a faith that they are true in spite of the facts or even though we don't have evidence. This is not the type of faith that is described in the Bible. We believe these things because we believe the best evidence points us in this direction.

I frequently tell our church that Jesus was a real man, who really lived, really died, and really rose again. The Bible is not just a book of fairy tales like a Disney movie, but rather a record of real historical events. Jesus is the best man who ever lived and in fact the best man who is still living! Furthermore, besides being just a man, the Bible makes it clear that Jesus is also God. So we, Christians believe that Jesus is both fully God and fully man.

He came and lived a perfect life, a life unlike any other before or since, and he came to live as a man for the expressed purpose of reconciling the relationship between God and man. All worldviews recognize the imperfections in the world, and the solution in most of them, religious and secular, is to somehow work yourself toward heaven and perfection. Jesus is unique in that he represents God coming to us and bridging the gap because we can never earn our way to heaven. What he offers is a free gift of salvation and life with him forever. His resurrection is also unique in history and proves that we can trust what he says about salvation.

Who Jesus is and what he has done, makes him the one way to get to God. Maybe though you think I am wrong and you do not believe any of these "wild" claims about Jesus that traditional Christians believe. Well, I cannot make you believe anything, but I would love to have a dialogue about it. Call me, write me, or write the paper. Start a conversation and tell me why you believe what you believe, and I will show you why I believe in Jesus. Let's talk and learn about each other.

Who is God?

This article was written for the Oakland Independent July 5, 2017 addition.

Last week I wrote that we should be fine with expressing our unique ideas and listening to the ideas of other people. This week and next I wanted to share some of the ideas that make traditional Christianity unique compared to other worldviews. What I mean by traditional or "orthodox" Christians are those who hold to foundational beliefs that have historically set us apart from other religions and other sects who claim to be Christian. The core Christians beliefs would be held by Protestants like Evangelical Free, Baptists, Covenant, Methodists, Lutherans, Presbyterians, and most Pentecostal churches like the Assembly of God. Furthermore, older churches like the Roman Catholic Church, Eastern Orthodox churches, and Episcopalians / Anglicans would also official hold these ideas. For all our divisions, Christian churches still hold many core beliefs in common.

The first area of agreement is in answer to the question, "Who is God?"

We believe in one God who is creator of all other things (Genesis 1, Deuteronomy 6:4, Isaiah 45:5,6). Now to many of us in the Midwest, who only know a one God religion, this might seem obvious, but our society is becoming more pluralistic. We live next to and around many people who perhaps believe in multiple gods or lesser gods associated with the natural world. Furthermore, many people are secular and do not believe in anything outside of the physical world, whether it be one God or other spiritual forces.

Christianity is even distinct from the other two "one God" religions, Judaism and Islam, because we believe in one God, who eternally exists in a loving unity of three equally divine Persons. This concept called "the Trinity" is unique to Christianity and is very often misunderstood by those inside and outside the church. One common misunderstanding claims that we believe in three gods, when in fact we believe that members of the Trinity, Father, Son, and Spirit, are eternally unified because they share the very nature or being of God. We claim then that God is one in essence and purpose, but still exists as three persons.  

Another misconception of the Trinity, denies that God is really three persons. Some people claim that the Father, the Son and the Spirit are simply different manifestations of the same person, like the same water existing as ice, liquid or steam. Others deny the divine nature of Jesus and / or the Holy Spirit. For us, if someone denies the Trinity in one of these ways, they do not believe in the same God and that separates you from true Christianity.

The plainest teaching of the Bible makes the truth of the Trinity clear, and the early church leaders wrestled against many of the same misunderstandings we still see today. They declared non-Trinitarian ideas about God to be wrong, and therefore those who believed them were not true Christians. In fact, these truths about God's nature are really just a restatement of the early Christian creeds, which were written to respond to some of the early misconceptions of God (called heresies).

To restate, Christians believe in one Trinitarian God who is apart from and created everything else, and those who believe something else about God are not real Christians because they believe in a different God. Next week, I will present the idea that Christians believe there is only one way to God, namely through the person and work of Jesus. If you disagree with me, I invite you to write a letter to the editor to start, not an argument, but a conversation. As a Christian, I would love to hear what you believe about reality and have a continued discussion about these important ideas.

Mike Sechler Sermon Archive 2017

Here are the links to the my sermon audios for the last year. Some of them you can play on the website while some of them will have to download to hear.

I am preaching through Luke this year, so most of my sermons are directly from that series. I may have few holiday sermons interspersed. Also sometimes the recordings don't work and so I may miss a Sunday or two. Finally, several other leaders also preach for me and if you are interested in hearing their sermons, go to this link for all the sermons from Oakland EFC.

1/8/17 “Who Should You Love?” (Luke 10:25-37)

1/15/17 "One Thing is Necessary” (Luke 10:38-42)

1/22/17 “Teach Us to Pray” (Luke 11:1-13)

1/29/17 “The Strongest Man” (Luke 11:14-26)

2/5/17 “Signs of a Dark Heart” (Luke 11:27-54)

2/12/17 Live Fearlessly! (Luke 12:1-12)

2/19/17 Biblical Investment Strategies (Luke 12:13-34)

3/5/17 Follow Jesus Now (Luke 12:49-59)

3/12/17 Turn Around and Be Fruity (Luke 13:1-9)

3/19/17 The Law of Love (Luke 13:1-17; 14:1-6)

3/26/17 Kingdom Big and Narrow (Luke 13:18-28)

4/2/17 Jesus Loves His People (Luke 13:31-35)

4/9/17 Focus on the Finish (Luke 9:51 and 19:28-40) Audio starts at about 17 Minutes.

4/16/17 Do You Recognize Jesus? (Easter Sunday, various passages)

4/30/17 Are You Coming to the Party? (Luke 14:7-24)

5/7/17 What is the Cost of Following Jesus? Luke 14:25-35

5/14/17 Jesus Loves the Lost (Luke 15)

6/4/17 Investing in Heaven 

6/11/17 Should You Follow the King or the Law? Luke 16:14-17

17-06-25 What does the Bible say about Divorce and Remarriage

17-07-02 Live Your life as if it has Eternal Consequences because it does. 

17-07-09 Sin Hurts, so seek forgiveness (Luke 17:1-4)

17-07-23 Where and When is the Kingdom of God? (Luke 17:20-37)

17-08-06 The Humble Can Come to Jesus (Luke 18:9-30)

17-08-13 The Faith of a Blind Man (Luke 18:31-43)

17-08-20 Why Did Jesus Come? (Luke 19:1-10)

17-08-27 Preparing for the Return of the King (Luke 19:11-27)

17-09-03 Do You Want Jesus to Clean You? (Luke 19:41-48)

17-09-10 Don’t Get Crushed (Luke 20:1-19)

17-09-17 Don’t Argue with Jesus (Luke 20:20-44)

17-09-24 Show Religion vs. True Religion (Luke 20:45-21:4)

17-10-01 Preparing for Jesus’ Coming (Luke 21:5-38)

You are Wrong!

This was originally written for the Oakland Independent on June 28, 2017.

I think you're wrong. I don't know what everyone who reads this article believes but I am sure that on some issues we disagree and I think you're wrong. If I did not think I was right, I would stop believing it.

Furthermore, we cannot both be right when we believe things that contradict one another. We all know this in the physical world. If you step in front of a moving bus, one of you is going to win, you or the bus! Likewise, in areas of politics and religion, everyone cannot be right because we are often believe contradictory things. For instance, believing that the government should fund a single payer healthcare system cannot be reconciled with the idea that everyone should pay for their own healthcare individually. Likewise, you cannot logically believe both that Jesus was just a good human teacher and also believe that he is the Son of God and one of the three persons in the Trinity.

In polite society we sometimes simply refuse to talk about these issues or gloss over real differences to keep the peace. Often I think we do this because we are not sure about what we believe and why we believe it, so talking about it makes us uncomfortable.

I want to challenge you to be willing think and talk about what you believe about what might be called spiritual questions, such as: Does God exist? Did Jesus rise from the dead? Is any religion true and if so why? The Apostle Peter tells Christians that we need to be prepared to give an answer for the hope that we have within us (1 Peter 3:15), so we should be thinking about these questions anyway.

When we begin to study and talk about these ideas, we should be prepared to be challenged by those who disagree. If what you believe is true then it should hold up to the challenges, but you will have to study more to discover why it is true. You may find that in some things you were wrong, while in other areas your beliefs are strengthened.

I am currently in long conversations with two religious people who are not traditional Christians and one secular person. I have not lost my faith in Jesus, but I have been challenged to study and understand it more. I am more convinced of the truth of Christianity, but I have learned that I was often wrong about what they believed. In the process my life has been enriched getting to know them, and I have had the opportunity to share what I believe is true.

Christians can tolerate people who believe different things, because no matter what they believe God created them in His image, so they are valuable. We can love them even we think their ideas are wrong. In fact, as Christians we are commanded to go into the world to share about Jesus. In practice this will mean both showing people that we love in concrete physical ways, and showing them we love them by telling them about Jesus, even if they do not believe us.

As ambassadors for Jesus we can be both humble and knowledgeable, loving and clear. In this way, we can seek to tell people what we think is the truth while still respecting them enough to listen to them tell us we are wrong.

Of course, maybe you think I am wrong about my approach. You should write a letter to the editor and tell me why so I can hear about it!